As I stepped
on the set of “The Chi” I never knew how this episode would affect my
life. I thought it was an ordinary day
on set. I was doing double duty as
background and stand in. I sat there for
awhile hearing the lines being delivered. Then I started to listen, that’s when
I realized it was me she was talking about in those lines she was delivering so
well, about being molested as a child. I also realized at that very moment that I had
not dealt with the emotions of being molested by not just one person but
several in my childhood. The hurt was
deep and daunting at the same time. So
strong that I had to leave set for awhile and was comforted by some of the most
amazing women. It was nice to look up
from my tears and see such love and support in that moment of realization, it
was beautiful. Thank you to all of them.
I don’t know
what to do with this pain. As I got
older, I thought I had dealt with it, but God had a way of showing me that I hadn’t
and if haven’t then there are other women my age who haven’t either.
Since that experience I have been in conflict
with myself as to tell my story, my truth or not. I keep having conversations with God telling
him that I can’t, but my spirit says I can and I must. As we know our flesh can get in the way of our
spirit and the direction God wants us to go.
So, after many many tears I have decided to tell “My Story” Of Sexual Molestation
and what it does to a young girl and boys. However, I am unsure as to what
direction that will be. I have a deadline to make my final decision, to create
my own platform or go with an established one. Either way my story will be
told. With tears heartache and betrayal in tow.
Thank you to the brilliant writer who dares tackle such a controversial subject
but most importantly thank you for making me realize, that I had not.
